The Making of a Biofield Hacker

I am a staunch advocate of radical honesty and self-reflection, and true to form, I have recently uncovered another lesson lying dormant at the bottom of so many others. I talk about root cause analysis a lot, but this one—this treasure at the core of a tree that held so many messy leaves and branches—was frankly astonishing…and hard to admit in order to unearth.

I have lived my life seeping in the practice of daily giving and loving—and I hung my proverbial hat on that. But underneath, in the deepest recesses of my subconscious that were buried under 50 years of life experiences, that was a complete departure from what I had programmed into my narrative and beliefs about myself—really deep down. My actual inner voice was incredibly hard on myself and had deemed itself unworthy. And in that deep unworthiness, my external manifestation emerged.

I had unknowingly manifested extreme narcissistic bullying into my 3D world. To be super clear, I take no ownership of their dark actions nor do I excuse them—I am simply reflecting on the lesson I had to learn from the experience. In stark contrast to how I labeled myself in my mind, it held up the mirror of the internal darkness that really existed. What I didn’t realize at the time was the universe provided an opportunity to transmute that dark to light for alignment. It was intended to crack me wide open for the light to shine through from the inside out. The Law of Attraction dictates your vibration attracts your reality—and boy, did it showcase what my inner dialogues were dictating.

In order to unfold your core essence of unconditional love of self that will then be reflected by the outside world, clearly it took something dramatic to peel back the layers of mud (toxicity) in order to allow for the highest vibration of unconditional love and authenticity to shine through; those earth school lessons are no joke. In dealing with the ludicrous and relentless attacks through various modalities, I had no choice but to deal with my shadow side. And it was dark—murky, pitch black.

The only available options that I had were to stay in it or to confront it head-on and fight my way through it. And even in the darkest depths, staying there was never an option. So I made the decision, maybe out of sheer exhaustion, to walk through the fire. I suited up with any ounce of courage that I could muster and took a step into the unknown. I am not sure that I recognized that I had faith back then; it just really sucked being distraught and I didn’t want to stay in pitch black anymore.

And with each step that I took, the universe met me halfway, although I didn’t know it then. Each small step forward brought more of the revealed pathway, with a partial lifting of the dark fog—each step brought another chunk of proverbial armor—a domino effect of momentum if you will. Each step unveiled my internal programming and I was intuitively guided about how to change my self-beliefs—one line of code at a time. Each battle to fight the attacks was designed to build my spiritual muscles—free sparring matches. Though I was blindfolded then and had absolutely zero perception of that; I was just thrust into the ring without warning, ambushed by a flurry of sucker punches, and had to claw my way out to get back on my feet.

It is not lost on me now, and I can tell you that it is with great laughter, humor, grace, and self-forgiveness that the manifested attacks mirrored how incredibly terrible I was to myself. I am stunned how long I went on being so cruel to myself—relentlessly hard, unfair, and completely undeserving of that treatment for no reason. It was only in the clearing, line by line of subconscious reprogramming, that I was made anew.

There are old adages about dying a thousand deaths to begin anew, and true to the law of the conservation of energy—energy is neither created nor destroyed, just transformed from one form to another. And in that rebirth, like a newborn, my truest authentic self emerged—full of unconditional love for self and others. It was by walking through the fire that I was able to live the quote: “Through fire I walked, and in flames I crumbled. But it was in the ashes that I found my shape again—not as I was, but as I was meant to be,” unknown attribution.

I harnessed the most powerful force assisted by the universe—I embraced the truth of my own light. And the light always wins in the end—what’s done in the dark always comes to the light—it is the universal law of karma/the law of consequence. I am the phoenix—integrated and indestructible warrior soul (my masculine side) and all heart (my feminine side) in equal measures. And in the infinite cycle of growth and evolution. They say the truth will set you free—radical honesty. It was an activation of spiritual alchemy to reclaim my birthright of complete liberation and empowered self-sovereignty—intertwined and entangled with the inner power of love. And out of this, the wheel of fortune turns to reveal the gift—in the process I was reborn. Among many other things, I am now the Biofield Hacker.