Are You A Real Woman — Are You Living Like One?

Fair warning — I am sure this article will be controversial but I have never been one to shy away from controversy as that usually denotes the dire need for dialogue.

I was recently having a philosophical discussion about U.S. gender norms and relationships with a man whose wisdom and insights I respect very much. The timing was serendipitous, as I had promised to write an article addressing the culpability of women in “owning” our side of the current state of bastardized and unhealthy relationship norms.

These norms have a domino effect on how we are running U.S. society as a whole—relationships, families, communities, organizations, systems—the entire society—and the resulting manifestations of that bastardization.

While I had wanted a man to pen the “answering” article, I felt called to continue the process myself, in my own little he-said/she-said philosophy. But for any of you out there—please feel free to weigh in.

Although I am addressing this from a heteronormative lens, I would remind you that everyone holds duality within. Reflect on what this means to you individually and the resonant actions you feel called to take.

(You can access the article where I was calling men to stand up here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-having-penis-make-you-real-man-do-embody-one-michele-gorman-4d15e/?trackingId=XiyNDFdSSf6whWudlTZVYw%3D%3D.)

Back to my philosophical discussion.

He shared an article he had recently read on Medium about men encountering three archetypes of women in their lives: the wife, the mistress, and the confidante. The article can be found here: https://medium.com/@flaye-kate88/wife-mistress-confidante-9e7724d14cb4.

I am not going to argue the merits, definitions, or points of view expressed in that piece. However, the timing of our discussion blended seamlessly with what I had already wanted to address in my proverbial calling out of women.

The reality is this: I strongly believe that women should not only serve as all three—wife, mistress, and confidante—for their partners, but also be partnered in that same spirit across many areas of life. It is a sad state of affairs in the U.S. that relationships can even be viewed as anything less than having those elements in their foundation.

And that brings me to my fundamental question to women:

Why aren’t you standing up?

Where is your fierce internal mama bear?

You may be utilizing that force when it comes to your children, friends, or extended family—but there is a great void in U.S. society today.

Going along to get along is no longer working. In truth, it hasn’t been working for a very long time. And you are complicit in your complacency.

If you believe that being “mama bear” to only your own is sufficient for them to thrive, I would challenge you to consider whether your head is buried in the sand. And if this is triggering you… good. It may mean it’s holding up a mirror to the inner voice that is calling for your evolution.

Open your eyes and truly look around you.

Is the world operating in a way that aligns with how you believe life should be lived and experienced? Does it align with your integrity, morals, and values? Where is your backbone for accountability and ownership? Where is your grit to stand up for what is right? Where is your resolve to say “enough is enough” and drive change for good? Where are your high standards—for yourself, your relationships, your organizations, your communities, and society at large?

What got us here will not get us there.

Your voice—and your inner mama bear—are vital now.

Sticking your head in the sand will not make this go away. Playing small does not make it better. Staying busy acquiring hits of external validation by overgiving your time and energy only strokes the ego while fragmenting your life force and enabling the lack of lessons and change.

Your life force, voice, and actions matter. You matter.

Make the time. Do better. Be better.

You hold leadership roles with many titles—mom, daughter, wife, lover, boss, co-worker, board member, volunteer, friend, and more. So lead.

U.S. society will not change without you standing up. Men are not the only ones responsible for patriarchal systems, abuses of power, unequal pay, unbalanced control dynamics, or outdated gender norms that play out in daily households.

Act. Create. Speak up. Insist.

Stand for true reciprocity in all relationships. Stand against objectification. Stand for equity and equality in all systems and organizations. Stand for truth, justice, and transparency.

Advocate for, unconditionally love, and support the real men in your life who work tirelessly to do the same for you.

Be their wife, mistress, and confidante. Nurture them. Cheer for them. Provide a safe space for vulnerability and emotion. Stand shoulder to shoulder, tackling the world together. Be the confidante, lover, friend, cheerleader, listening ear, and steady shoulder.

Be all in.

Show their importance in your world through your actions and behaviors: Respect. Love. Gratitude. Generosity. Kindness. Support.

You have remained self-sabotaging for far too long.

Giving everything of yourself while requiring nothing in return for that proverbial hit of validation is not empowerment—it is often rooted in insecurity and a lack of valuing your own worth.

Your complicity in the lack of equity for humanity—through the allowance of your silenced voice—must stop. Your codependency on being needed and your acquiescence of personal power must stop. Your acceptance of “how it’s always been done”—organizationally, socially, economically, societally—must stop.

Own that you are individually complicit in this societal mess. Give yourself grace. Then take decisive action.

Your leadership must be exercised robustly to create a new normal—one you influence and exemplify for all within it.

Rise into your full power and magic.

Raise your voice. Drive change. Push back. Make time for what matters. Empower yourself to say no. Enforce boundaries and standards. Be self-sovereign. Lead the change.

Start owning what you can do in your world—and do it.

Be a real woman. Partner with the other real women—and men—in your life to create a ripple effect that empowers others to do the same.

Insist on truth. Insist on accountability. Insist on justice.

Bring all of your beautiful self forward, because tomorrow’s future—and the ability of future generations to thrive—depends on you emerging from your slumber.

You, in your full power, are enough.

It’s time to ignite spring.

The future is right now.

And I want it to be filled with glorious light.

Don’t you?

For programs to design your own healing blueprint: biofieldhacker.io.

For coaching needs, please email me at globaldivinealchemy@gmail.com.

Shoutout to ChatGPT for always doing such a nice job with editing and formatting.

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