Power and Control: Constructs of the Self-Deceived

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.— Leonardo da Vinci

Power and control are so often exercised, yet so frequently misunderstood. They are the exact opposite of self-love; in fact, they are a true indicator of your complete lack of self-value or self-worth. Power is a lie we tell ourselves—the delusion of authority is actually the sovereignty of the ego.

When you try to control the outside world, situations, and people, you are merely holding up a mirror. Internally, you are feeling disempowered and out of control yourself. When the urge to control arises, take a moment to self-regulate, reflect, and ask yourself what you are truly making it mean. If you’re trying to control someone’s behavior, it’s a clear sign that you are concerned with what others think of you. Instead of expending that energy outward, turn it inward and explore the root cause: What makes you feel the need for external validation or approval?

When you judge others, what you think of them is actually a reflection of what you think of yourself. Consider the old adage about love and hate: the opposite of love is ambivalence, not hate. Hate is often suppressed, distorted love, filled with intense emotions; when love dissipates, ambivalence remains. This same concept applies to judgment. When you fully accept and love yourself, you no longer judge yourself—and as a result, you no longer judge others. This is the law of assumption: what you deeply believe to be true shapes your reality.

When you are ruled by the ego, your foundation is built on fear—blocks made of a lack of discipline, distorted energy, and unchecked emotions. You are disempowering yourself by letting your impulses, ego, and emotions take charge. In their truest form, you have no control over anything, let alone yourself.

The ego is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.— Deepak Chopra

When you’re thirsting for power and control, it becomes unquenchable—the void will never be filled by those proverbial short-term hits. You end up letting situations control you—figuratively and literally—putting yourself at their mercy. This makes you weak and easily manipulated by everything that crosses your path. You’ve traded your real power for a lack of impulse control—all for a fleeting hit of greed, ego, external validation, or dominance. In the end, you’ve sold yourself out for minimal short-term gain at the cost of long-term self-respect.

If you can’t recognize the treasure within yourself, you’ll miss the treasures and blessings others—especially those different from you—bring into your life. By trying to control or suppress them, you rob yourself of the gift of evolution. You either make their journey harder, or worse—they pull their energy away from you, and you lose the opportunity to grow. And then, if you’re reflective enough, you realize the painful truth: you were jealous or competitive because, deep down, what you attacked in them was simply something you felt was missing in yourself.

No man is free who is not master of himself.— Epictetus

Power and control are facades, built on a fragile and weak foundation. True power arises from the internal mastery of self and the recognition that the only thing you can truly control is yourself. As the old adage goes: “Only the self is yours to command—everything else is borrowed illusion.”